This was never meant to turn into an essay or a Big Deal. However, in September, I decided to reveal to the WP community that I'd been on antidepressant medication, and have had an 'interesting' history regarding depression and self-injury. Another editor, now banned, had decided to take it upon himself to bully me over the fact that yes, I have had a history of depression and that I was popping pills like smarties. Obviously, it was something to be ashamed of and something which made me a lesser person, an unstable and unworthy one.

I decided to tell the truth, then take a break. I'd never have foreseen what was going to happen next.

The community spoke out, and spoke out clearly and pretty much with one voice. Of the list of people below who commented, I see dear friends, strangers and people who are vehemently set against each other - all saying the same thing.

When I came back here, I was just going to delete my public statement, check for fallout and (hopefully) get back to work. However, I'm keeping it here as a message to all others who have been through this too, or are going through it right now. My email inbox is filled up right now with "me too" messages from all sorts of people on here; editors, admins, even two chronic vandals, and all in a very similar situation.

This is what the community has to say;

To other people out there who are hiding or are afraid or ashamed of what people might think, or are feeling worthless and unloved, read through the list below, because so many of these good people are also speaking to you.

I want to thank everyone here for being so loving, trusting and supportive of me here. I truly don't know what to say ...

Love you all,

-- A l is o n

Public statement

Hi all,

This is just a statement here, there's no need for commentary or WikiDrahmaz. Recently an abusive editor created sock-puppet accounts to make accusations against me here on my talk page (and on theirs). They were reverted pretty quickly by my alert friends :)

and

Now my take on this is as follows; with all trolls, vandals and weirdos, the proper approach is revert, block, ignore and generally move on. Nothing to see here, folks. Every editor on WP, admins included, has a right to anonymity, privacy of their personal information and to be able to edit here without harassment or personal attacks. This is a fundamental tenet of Wikipedia and is non-negotiable. It goes without saying that there is never a reason why someone should demand personal medical information on another editor, especially if their motive is that of intimidation and harassment. We all know this. Wikistalkers love to use this kind of information to hurt people on here. I've seen it again and again.

However, it doesn't stop at that. I thought about this for a day or so and thought; "Hey, waitaminute! What on earth is wrong with the fundamental issue here? Is there something wrong with being on some kind of antidepressant medication? Is this something to be ashamed of??" I mean - there are a lot of people on here who have histories they are ashamed of - afraid they'll be "found out" and it will be revealed to the world that they had some issues in their past or whatever, and that they need to keep it all under wraps and live in fear.

To hell with all that!

Here's my history & I'm standing up to be counted. I've had issues with depression going back to my childhood. I've been on various medications over the years - the anonymous coward above knew that. I've had two serious suicide attempts; the last one was ... oh ... almost 20 years ago now. I've been involved in self-injury right up to maybe five years ago. So what? It happens. I'm not suffering from depression right now and haven't for some time. I'm currently on 10mg of citalopram which is considered sub-therapeutic and I'm thinking of cutting it out altogether early next year.

So what?

Is there anything to be ashamed about here? Nope. Is there anything to be concerned about? Nope. Does it affect me in any way as to how I do my editing here? Nope. I'm writing this, not as a result of intimidation (I hate bullies), but to show everyone that it's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. I hope others in a similar situation can read this, understand it, and take some comfort from it. There are a lot of us out there and it's really No Big Deal :)

Love you all, friends,

-- A l is o n 18:43, 15 September 2007 (UTC)


  • Comment I think the editor that made those comments about Alison should be banned indef from Wikipedia, there is no justification for personal attacks of this nature. This is pure harassment and should not be tolerated.--padraig 18:57, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Applause for Alison. I hope the user in question (and yes, I do know who it is), has all their multiple accounts banned for life, and furthermore, loses net access for treating a fellow human being in such a reprehensible manner. SirFozzie 20:11, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • One more: I've known you for maybe two minutes - one brief exchange. But just a quick glance gave the impression that you are cheerful, helpful, and competent. That first editor illustrated his own sickness by misspelling "compos mentis" - if he's going to use a fancy phrase like that he should at least look it up first. You shouldn't have to put with abuse like that and I hope that editor is banned for at least a year. Sbowers3 21:01, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Indeed Fozzie Who's the better person? The coward who harasses an innocent woman, or the woman who's prepared to lay herself bare and say "this is me". No debate really is there? One Night In Hackney 303 21:02, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • This is preposterous. Just because someone's on meds, that's no reason to disqualify her. DS 21:17, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Content - one of the things I like about the Internet is the fact that it forces us to overlook age, race, gender, etc. We see only each other's ideas, thoughts, and fantasies. For all I really know, you are the middle-aged pot bellied guy down the street (oh, wait, that's me) or a little old lady whiling away her final days in an extended care facility. The question isn't what you are . The question is what you do . Whoever you are, I like what you do here (and thank you for that). Lastly, I've always said "you can tell the quality of a person by the character of his/her enemies." Actually, I always say "his enemies", but I thought a bit of inclusivity might be in order – you never really can tell. By that standard, you turn up aces again. Keep up the good work. I'll be happy to play whack-a-mole to help smooth your way. Oh, and way to come out (again)! Gees! Rklawton 21:21, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Everyone wears a mask and puts up on a front, it takes real courage to take it of and say, this is ME. Cowards are driven into the shadows by the brilliance of honesty, and exude malice in an attempt to close out this light. Alison, glow in the warmth of your friendships, attracted by your refreshing openness. And all because you dared to say, I’m Me. --Domer48 21:49, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Alison, kudos for your courage to stand up and reveal yourself under fire. That takes real courage, and I applaud you for it. Please don't let this stop you from being the great editor and person we all know. (to quote a favorite song of mine, "Don't let the bastards grind you down." Love always, Ne ra n e i (talk) 21:55, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • You're a strong woman Alison, far stronger than the trolling coward who wrote those. You don't deserve to have insults from people like them. Keep strong, Alison. Acalamari 22:15, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Hear, hear. If anyone needed more proof of your integrity and dedication, there you go. I knew yours was an RfA worth supporting... ;) Fvasconcellos 22:21, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Applause for Alison. If we're asking admins to turn in the bit if they're on therapeutic, licitly prescribed medication, well... I'll be in that line too. I dare say many of our most active admins will be. Frankly, my slight OCD is probably a GOOD thing for the purposes of this 'pedia! Alison, I'm proud of you. - Philippe | Talk 22:47, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Dear Allie, once again, you show us the true meaning of courage, integrity, and standing by your principles. If anything, all this trolling has revealed is that we're lucky to have you here with us, a woman of your value, and a friend who honors us by sharing her time with us. Allie, just as you told me many times, don't let them get you down, no matter what - I'm proud of you, proud of calling you a friend, and honored too. Illegitimi non carborundum, sweetie! :) Love you lots, P h a e d r i e l - 22:48, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
  • No Big Deal . Alison is a courageous woman of great integrity who is held in very high regard in this community. Any troll who tries to ridi

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