September 2008
The article was promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 01:20, 30 September 2008 .
History of the National Hockey League (1942–1967)
This is the second of a series, the first article, covering 1917 to 1942 already being featured. I believe this article is up to the same standards. It is currently a good article, and has been through a peer review that did not yield much, unfortunately. Maxim was kind enough to perform a copyedit. I look forward to all comments. Thanks! Resolute 04:30, 29 August 2008 (UTC)Support
Commentsfrom Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)
"It was a period of dynasties, with the Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup nine times between 1942 and 1967." That dreaded with + -ing sentence structure.
"Attempting to open up the game, the league introduced the centre-ice red line, allowing players to pass out of their defensive zone for the first time in 1943." Move "in 1943" to right after "centre-ice red line" for clarity.
"There was also change at the top after league President Frank Calder collapsed during a meeting and later died, in February 1943." -->"There was also change at the top; in February 1943, league President Frank Calder collapsed during a meeting and later died."
"The stability Campbell offered as president was matched by that of the league itself." Vague.
"No team outside of the NHL had competed for the Stanley Cup since 1926 following the demise of the Western Hockey League."
- If a word is removed here, it should be of, not the. "No team outside of NHL" doesn't sound right. Giants2008 ( 17-14 ) 03:18, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
- Sorry, that's what I meant. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:57, 24 September 2008 (UTC)
"Other teams and leagues had challenged for the cup in the intervening years, with the challenges rejected by Cup trustees for various reasons." Such as?
"It was Richard who captured all the headlines, however, as he attempted to score 50 goals in a 50 game season, a feat no other player had accomplished in league history." Can we change "It was Richard who captured all the headlines" to something more encyclopedic, please?
"His opponents did anything they could to prevent him from reaching the 50-goal mark, including slashing, elbowing and holding Richard, as no team wanted to be known as the one that gave up the goal."— all they could.I'll have more comments later. Dabomb87 (talk) 03:06, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
"The 1951 Stanley Cup Finals saw the Maple Leafs defeat the Canadiens four games to one in the only final in NHL history where all games were decided in overtime." How about: "In the 1951 Stanley Cup Finals, the Maple Leafs defeated the Canadiens four games to one in the only final in NHL history when all games were decided in overtime."
- Are all currency figures in Canadian dollars?
"The first players' union was formed February 12, 1957, by Red Wings star Ted Lindsay." According to whom is he a star?
Check for overlinking of individual seasons; the one that caught my attention was 1964–65.
"Similarly, teams began to paint the centre red line in a checkered pattern to set it apart from the solid blue lines." "Similarly" is vague, try "For this same reason".Dabomb87 (talk) 00:30, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
- Um, well the nominator was working on my comments, but okay. I'll get to those later. Images : Images check out
Image:GordieHowe 08.jpg - call me a skeptic, but I'm concerned that this image from 1960's is in fact self-made by the author.Image:Plante firstmask.jpg - the fair use rationales need to be copyedited and expanded; just saying 'it's not replaceable' doesn't cut it.-- Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs () 03:23, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
- Ok, that satisfies me for the author. How about adding in the author's web page and the info you brought up above and add it to the image? As for the nonfree image, I'd still like to see the rationales expanded. This is for a film cover, so obviously the text and rationale are going to be different, but it serves as a good model: Image:Wrath-of-khan-bob-peak-post.png. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs () 16:40, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
- Support All my concerns were addressed before the restarted nomination. Kaiser matias (talk) 04:06, 24 September 2008 (UTC)
- Support - I supported before and am still satisfied that this meets the requirements. Giants2008 ( 17-14 ) 21:54, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
- Comment nice stuff. I'll go through it in detail to fix little things.
- Suggestion: when you mention Lester Patrick's proposal to suspend the Rangers activities in 43-44, it would perhaps be good to find a reference explaining why Canadian teams (and the Canadiens in particular) were not affected as much as the American teams. (Presumably this is because conscription did not start in Canada until 44 but I'm wondering whether that's the correct explanation since American teams had many Canadian players anyway...)
- Update on above suggestion: looking at hockeydb and comparing the 42-43 and 43-44 rosters , there's some indication that Lynn Patrick, Alf Pike, Scotty Cameron, among a few others, did leave for the war but it still seems odd that the Rangers would be the only team affected that hard. The Wings and and Blackhawks had decent seasons so I think a few more explanations are needed here. Pichpich (talk) 21:13, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
- Some more comments: I've continued to copyedit the article and I feel that the prose is still a bit below FA expectations. Yeah, I know that good copyeditors are hard to find but there are a few places where the prose could be tightened and the flow improved. I'm not talented enough to fix it myself but I am able to recognize that there's room for improvement on that front. More specific questions:
- When did the NHL lose the CBS deal?
- Not really clear: did anyone ever adopt or imitate Sawchuk's "gorilla crouch"?
- Note: discussion about the timeline table moved to the talk page. Pichpich (talk) 20:18, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
The article was promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 01:20, 30 September 2008 .
German women's national football team
I'm nominating this article for featured article because it is well referenced, informative and well written. Pinkkeith (talk) 21:44, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
- Support , as per previous nom. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 01:40, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
Support from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)
"Before a crowd of 22,000, they dominated favourites Norway and won 4–1 with goals from Ursula Lohn, Heidi Mohr and Angelika Fehrmann." Eh, I'm not sure that "dominated" is NPOV."The German women's national football team wears white shirts with black shorts and white socks, following the tradition of the German men's team – black and white being the colours of Prussia." "being"-->are.
- I fixed that. EnemyOfTheState (talk) 11:30, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
- Btw, I also support this nomination, although I'm not sure if I may do so as the primary contributor. EnemyOfTheState (talk) 11:30, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
Strong Oppose - Sorry, but as per my previous comments, some work still needs to be done here and it's not quite up to scratch yet.
- First and foremost - the German references need to be translated. You can look at how I have done it on this article or you can think of your own method (ask questions if your not certain, not just here, but at the respective project pages etc). Basically, you need to translate the related information into English. Not the entire story, just what is actually necessary to back up the statements.
- I'm not sure about the information in the lead. Football team lead sections very rarely identify the manager and top goalscorer, even though I must admit it is well worded in here. It may not actually belong in the lead section. Have a look at Scotland national football team or even Croatia national football team again as I think these two have sufficient and almost perfect lead sections. Only the most vital of info should be initially stated, perhaps you could expand slightly upon the formation/acceptance of the team etc.
- I think there are some small forms of POV issues. The initially stated issues above are still yet to be fixed up ('dominated' is not neutral point of view). Additionally, there is a constant use of the word 'popularity'. Wikipedia does not make assumptio
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